PO Box 144, Hunter NY 12442

457 W 57th St,  NY NY 10019


347-win-calm (347-946-2256)




Ideas to step out of chaos.

  1. Strengthen parasympathetic nervous system and Vagus Nerve (opposite of sympathetic nervous system - fight/flight/freeze which keeps us in chaos):  

    • Resolve underlying medical conditions - Vitamin & mineral deficiencies (especially B12, calcium, magnesium, zinc, D3) commonly add to anxiety, as well as thyroid problems. People operating in overwhelm tend to eat poorly and are often deficient in nutrients.    

    • Heart Coherence - Greg Braden, (buy a bluetooth heart rate monitor and download app InnerBalance or EliteHRV).  This is highly effective!

    • Acupressure to manually turn off Cortisol that is causing fight/flight/freeze mode.

    • CBDAshwagandha  These both put us in the parasympathetic nervous system. Generally speaking, CBD works as an adaptogen herb — meaning it can adapt to whatever your body needs.   Ashwagandha and CBD are said to increase the effectiveness of each other.   As your body and nerves heal, your body requires less CBD.   CBD increases the strength of supplements or medicines you are taking, talk to your Dr to be sure it is ok. 

    • Deep Diaphramatic Breathing- this tells your mind it is safe moving you out of fight/flight/freeze mode

    • Meditation to specifically strengthen parasympatethic nervous system

    • Mindfullness & Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) -  You can jump to 20 min on this video for the meat of it. 

    • Addrenal support supplements - many contain Ashwagandha, be mindful not to take twice.   

  2. Heal your Brain.  Get your brain right and everything else will follow.  Psychiatric problems are proven to often be brain problems.  These do not get resolved by only taking a psychiatric pill and clinging to the idea we have something wrong with us or have a mental illness.  Dr Amen is a pioneer in using brain spect scans for diagnosing and monitoring improvement.  He has become an authority on brain health, here are his 12 steps to improve brain health, massive improvements can be made in as little as two months.     

  3. Value staying calm and powerful above all else, your life and happiness is literally on the line. Become determined to manage your emotions and thoughts to stay out of fight/flight/freeze mode. Many have lived their entire life in chaos and have no experience of peace to be able to be alerted to when they are not there.    Create calm around you, take a break from stimulation.   We can't experience closeness to others when we are in mental chaos.  When we are not calm and happy, intense or fearful, we bring out the worst in others. 

  4. Organization – Compulsive organization and Disorganization, compounds stress and grows.  Disorganized,  many eat poorly and stop preparing nutritious meals, turning to fast and comfort foods that turn to sugar (cereals, bread, pasta, rice, potatoes), which damages our brain and worsens mental problems.  Find a home for all your belongings and simple systems for planning and managing tasks.   Getting organized while in chaos can be impossible in the early stages. If your home and office are in disarray, having someone assist you getting organized, asking you questions, keeping you focused and calm can be a huge leap in gaining control and sanity to your life.  I can assist you with this.    

  5. The power of connecting with our feelings and expanding our emotions.  When we keep avoiding dealing with our feelings we either numb out , experience shallow relationships, avoid people and situations or keep reacting. Left unchecked these lead to depression or addictions to substances or behaviors in order to cope.   Learning to connect to your feelings, understand them and express vulnerably what is going on, learning to ask for what you need clearly instead of reacting, complaining and making others wrong is the path to a happy, fulfilling life.   Learning to be introspective and communicate clearly with others, knowing they are also doing their best, creates friendships that are alive and grow.   Reactive folks, tend to attract reactive folks, we get out of hell together, by learning to love each other. 

  6. Interpersonal Skills - Learning how to communicate, listen and operating from a move loving, supportive state, I have found is key for transformation.  The more closeness you experience with others, the less anxiety you will experience.  Here is video that shows how relationships regulate our nervous system (click here).   Another video, How to improve relationships, by Dr. John Gottman a 40 year clinical relationship researcher, brings statistically proven info on the qualities of a good relationship and that of poor relationships.    Landmark Worldwide's Team Management & Leadership program is rooted in communication, which I have found to be highly effective in transforming how we communicate, relate and listen to others.  Working as a team is key for breaking ill-serving habits and improving communication skills.   Without good communication and interpersonal skills, to improve relationships and get past upsets, you will spend an inordinate amount of time working at staying calm or cutting people out of your life.  The more love and connection we experience in our life, the easier it is to stay calm. 

  7. Mindfulness - doing one thing at a time, slowing down, planning, thinking a step ahead, rganized and take care of yourself, paying attention to others around you and what you say, being responsible and striving to keep your word or be in communication about it.

  8. Spirituality - I am grateful during some dark periods to have been left with no other option but God. I discovered faith and a trust in God.  Spending time reading spiritual knowledge and communing with God, developing a relationship and connecting with inner guidance, intuition, I believe to be a powerful way out of chaos.   Finding a spiritual path that resonates with you, and surrounding yourself with a community who believe, can significantly help strengthen your faith muscle.  Faith and love, go hand in hand.   The 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, is a program for anyone in chaos.  Going on a hunt to observe all the grudges you have held and clear the air with others, invent and new relationship together -- this practice got me out of my depression.  It allowed love into my life, my life became easier and easier.   I believe letting go of grudges and giving up making others wrong, not only brings us closer to others, it brings us closer to God. 

My passion is being a facilitator for individuals, groups and families showing how to move from the reactive mind, to our Sane mind, operating with greater love.  Teaching how to work with the chart I share and take responsibility for interrupting reactions allowing love and connections to flow, learning how to empower and support each other.

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